Where the HELL have I been???

In the freakin' penalty box on a three-month blogging hiatus. It has come to my attention that I need to return to the blogoshere to release the demons that have taken over my brain.

It has been a BUSY three months. "There is too much. I will sum up."

May

• Played in FOUR hockey tournaments. Took 1st, 3rd, LAST, and 2nd places. The quad-fecta!









• Took an Indian cooking class. Very fun, and tasty, too! Mmmmmm...mangos....I mostly wandered around and let the other students cook the food. Never fear, I did taste it all at the dinner party afterwards. "You can really taste the chutney in dat one!"
• Ran the Bolder Boulder in the cold rain. Had great times for miles 1, and 4-6. Qualified to be in the top wave next year. THANK GAWD! Waves are A-JJ, or something like that. I was in wave HC. That is just too many people in front of me. GET OUT OF MY WAY PEOPLE! I'm trying to get to that port-o-john.

June

• Wrote an $11m grant, and two $2m grants for work in two weeks. There is no picture that can sum up that fiasco.
• Saw Ira Glass at Colorado College in the Springs. Highly recommend! If you've never heard him, go to http://www.npr.org/ and download some of his shows called This American Life. It is worth every second.
• Ran the Summer Solstice 5k in City Park in 28:40. This run is for skin cancer awareness. This is the finest example of foreshadowing I have ever known. More on that later. This run is at 6pm on a Wednesday. Who has a frickin run at 6pm in the middle of the week? People who don't work for a living. It's at City Park and there is NO PARKING at City Park. I ended up parking at the Natural History Museum and RAN about a mile to the start and got there AS THE GUN WENT OFF!!! That was a good warm up.
• Coach crashes motorcycle. Wear a helmet next time, dumb ass! I should have taken a picture of his road rash on HIS HEAD. Dumb ass.
• Jules' wedding. Good time had by all. Bon fire was a sight to see! "Check out these girls!"

Ann visits for DanskiTri. We've been friends for 21 years. That makes our friendship old enough to drink alcohol.

July

• Camping in southern CO with H, ABC & CBG + 3 dogs. Torn left quad muscle dampens the weekend. Although, I didn't have to be on camp set-up or take-down duty, so that's the plus to that story.



• P visits with sweet Norah. They are currently living in Singapore, which she delightfully calls Asia for Beginners. We've been friends for 25 years. Wow. That is a l-o-n-g time.










• Drums Along the Rockies at Invesco Field. Once a band geek...ALWAYS a band geek!

• URBAN ASSAULT RIDE - this will have it's own post because it deserves it!
• Curtie visits. We have been friends for 27 years. HOLY HELL that's a LONG TIME. He gets me with a Soup in the Bun surprise. DAMN HIM! He is one of the funnest people I know. I always have a great time with him and he always makes me laugh, even when there's nothing funny.

August

• Senior Open golf tourney in the Springs. This event had more rules and n0-n0's than any other even I've ever heard of. No cell phones, no cameras, no water bottles, no food, no signs or banners, no breathing...just kidding. Here's a tip: the best cell phone holder in the world is my bra. I always carry my phone, in my bra. So that's how I snuck my phone into this posh event at the Broadmoor in the Springs. What is the ticket taker going to do? Ask me to feel my breast? Ask me to strip down? Not going to happen. He didn't say anything, other than, "You can't take that food into the tournament." I had 2 Lara Bars, and 2 Honey Shots in my purse. I was ready for my "special needs diet" speech and 30 seconds into it he realized he didn't want my coma/death on his head so he said, "Okay, you can take them in, but just don't throw the wrappers on the ground." WHAT THE FUCK? That's why you won't let me take food in? Litter??? Um....they were selling all kinds of junk food with more litter possibilities than my little fruit & nut bars had. What really killed me is that we weren't allowed to take in water bottles. Well, it was 92 degrees out that day with clear skies. They were selling 20oz. water for $4.50, and not a drinking fountain in sight. We were there for six hours and walked more than 6 miles. Unless I wanted to invite heat stroke into my list of ailments, I needed to drink more than one bottle. I spent $36 on water that day. Shouldn't I at least get a share or two of stock in Coca-Cola for that price??? Last pro-golf tourney I go to. (We all look fairly pleased to be back at the house where water is NOT more expense than platinum.)


• Separated shoulder. To add insult to injury, the girl I chased down, took my stick, dropped it, got the shot off on my goalie and I got called for HOOKING!! (Not THAT kind of hooking.) It must have been mind-fuck hooking because the last time I checked, you had to have your stick in your hands to hook someone, and mine was a good 10 feet from where I crashed into the boards.
• MUDDY BUDDY - this will be posted with the UAR. This, too, is an event worthy of a separate post.
• Skin cancer. Morpheaform basal cell carcinoma. ON MY NOSE. I've heard third nostrils will be all the rage in 2009. Maybe I can just stick a hoop in it and it will look like a cool nose-ring that I put there on purpose.