Just Call Me Adrian Peterson

Today I went from hockey player to football player in one spiraling analogy.
Positioned behind the middle of the line, a fullback may do some running, some blocking, and some short receiving. A classic fullback is more of a power runner than a running back. Many modern formations do not use a fullback. Most plays utilizing the fullback call for him to block, generally by running up the middle of the line, clearing a path for a running back to run while having the ball to gain yardage.
The fullback must be strong enough to break tackles and draw the attention of linebackers and defensive linemen. Good flexbone fullbacks are usually the best ball carriers on the team and receive the majority of rushing attempts.

Which is better than the old B:
the offensive tackle's role is primarily to block on both running and passing plays. The left tackle is charged with protecting the blindside, and is often faster than the other offensive linemen to stop 'speed rushers' at the Defensive End position. Like a guard, the tackle may have to "pull", on a running play, when there is a tight end on his side. Offensive linemen can not catch the ball but may run the ball if they want. In most circumstances, however, they do not. Except for the snap by the offensive center as each play from scrimmage starts, ordinarily the only way an offensive lineman can get the ball during a play is by picking up a fumble. On rare occasions offensive linemen legally catch passes; they can do so either by reporting as an eligible receiver to the referee prior to the snap or by catching a pass which has first been deflected or otherwise touched by an eligible receiver or a defensive player. Any other touching of the ball by an offensive lineman will result in a penalty.

What I'm supposed to B:
The wide receivers are speedy pass-catching specialists. Their main job is to run pass routes and get open for a pass, although they are occasionally called on to block. A wide receiver may line up on the line of scrimmage and be counted as one of the necessary 7 players on the line in a legal formation (a split end), or he may line up at least one step behind the line of scrimmage and be counted as being in the backfield (a flanker if he is on the outside, a slot if he is not). There are generally two types of wide receivers, "speed" and "possession". A speed receiver's primary function is to stretch the field, to be a deep threat, and to pull away an eighth defensive man near the line of scrimmage from moves against the quarterback. A possession receiver is generally the more sure-handed of the two types and is used to keep possession of the ball by making catches that gain first down yardage, but he usually lacks the speed to attack a defensive backfield.
Or:
The running back was formerly called "halfback". The running back carries the ball on most running plays and is also frequently used as a short-yardage receiver. Running backs, along with the wide receivers, are generally the fastest players on the offensive team. Most of them tend not to run straight ahead, preferring to make quick cutbacks to try to find holes in the defense. This, however, is a generalization, since some running backs are more power-oriented.

It went something like this:
Coach: "Here's a football analogy for your playing. You are like a fullback. They lumber and have medium strides. They head straight up the field. You used to be like an offensive tackle--slow, methodical, and very position oriented. You need to be more like a wide receiver or running back. They are fast, with long powerful strides and they run through the defense, looking for the hole. "
Me: (Speechless for three hours, which rarely happens.) Later I thought, I'd rather not be a football analogy. I think that's why girls don't play football.

Here's where my mom would say, "Oh, Honey, men are from Mars and women are from Venus. It's really true. You just can't give merit to anything the Martians say."

There you have it.